ISOLATION
Keeping you away from friends, family, or other people. Examples can be when your partner makes you choose between them and your friends, insisting you spend all your time with them, making you question your own judgement of friends and family, and making you feel dependent on them for money, love or acceptance.
At some point in your life, you've been isolated, for one reason or another. It could have been self-imposed, you were forced into it, or it was a malice act by your significant other. In any case, you need to understand, that isolation of any kind is not a good thing. It's not healthy for the mind, or self esteem.
When your significant other isolates you from your family and friends, it's their way of saying, "I'm insecure with myself, and I'm afraid that you'll realize that I'm useless and leave me someday, so I'm going to do all I can to isolate you from those who can see through me like a jelly fish, so that doesn't happen." This is how isolation goes down, just in case you're oblivious to it.
First, your significant other will speak negatively to you about your family members, at the same time, he will speak negatively about you to those same family members. They will try to convince you that you are better than those family members in many ways, they would point out things that your family members do that he does not approve of or inappropriate in their eyes.
Next, they would insist on moving every year, for the sake of finding work, because clearly, they're incapable of finding and keeping a job. They would make statements such as "we have to go where the money is". This behavior is a way of making sure that your friends and family can't find you. They never want to stay in one place longer than a year, and since you're in support of them finding work to help support the family, you go along with it every time. But hey, don't get mad. Don't blame them, you could have said no to all those moves. Remember, it takes two. Oh, and let's not forget the poor kids. Losing friends year after year because mom and dad wants them to move, tragic.
Then, you find yourself losing friends yourself, because for some reason, they don't call anymore, they don't visit anymore, when you plan stuff they cancel the last minute. Next thing you know, you've completely lost touch or moved and you're no longer friends. You will find out down the road that, your significant other divulges information and conversation that should have stayed between husband and wife to your friend. As a couple, you will talk about other people, but it's suppose to be private, not meant to be told to the person being talked about. But, your significant other will blab everything, because their malicious intent is to isolate you from your friends, so you have no one to confide in. He would warn people to stay away from you because...(will use any lie to accomplish goal).
Eventually, you start believing that your friends and family hate you, you believe that you are a bad person and that's why they don't want anything to do with you. When the truth of the matter is, they've been brainwashed to believe things about you that wasn't true to begin with. If you're in a relationship and you're experiencing any of the above events, talk to your friends and family often. Ask questions like, "have I done anything to upset you? Did I say something offensive to you? This line of questioning will help you keep close to your friends and family and if your significant other is intentionally sabotaging your relationships, you'd know. The trick is to not stay silent, they count on that. If you're a person who doesn't like confrontations, they'd count on you not inquiring, so they'd continue telling lies to further isolate you from loved ones.
Insecure people who are afraid of losing what they have could be very dangerous in many ways. They can destroy your life, your career, your good reputation, and break your spirit in the process. The disturbing thing about these individuals is that, they have no concept as to the effect their behavior is having on themselves. For example, they fail to see that your failure is their failure as well, when they plot against you, the downfall is their inheritance. Unfortunately, they don't see it. They're too busy making sure that their evil plan to destroy you goes off without a hitch. Unfortunately, by the time you realize what has happened, it's too late. You've lost your job, friends, home, everything.
But, fear not. When you're ready to put you first, you'll make the decision to give it all up. If you don't, you will slowly kill yourself in a controlling relationship that will suck the life out of you, while your children watch in horror. Take care.
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