Why I started this Blog and taking Responsibility for my past, present, and future!

I started this blog because I'm hoping to help others (men and women) heal after going through something like what I went through and still going through.  So others can avoid going through what I'm going through.  This Blog will not be about bashing anyone. It will be about my life as I lived it, my mistakes, my regrets, my sorrow, my self esteem, and feeling beat down.

To save myself and my children, I had to leave a bad marriage.  I left because my children were suffering, and I was suffering.  In order to stop all our suffering, I had to remove myself from the equation while salvaging my career at the same time. It's been a year, within that year, I managed to get a divorce, go in an insurmountable debt, embarrassed myself, got embarrassed, found freedom, been miserable, been happy (for a short time), been cursed at by the other side, been begged to return home and I'll be treated like a queen, told that I won't have to work for the rest of my life if I return(bullshit), been searching for me (who is Ivy?). What happened to Ivy. What happened to the girl who had big dreams?

I am saddened not to have all my children with me, but they're grown and they have lives that they want to maintain and I understand.  My middle child is the last one I expected to be with me, making sure that I'm not alone.  He wants nothing to do with his father, which is sad by itself.  After getting thrown out by his father, I had to convince him to come to me so he doesn't have to stay on people's couches.   I don't understand why parents throw away their children, I never will.  My oldest is still living in Nevada, finishing college next year and my youngest wants to stay in Nevada as well to complete her last 2 years of high school.

Meanwhile, I'm here in California trying my hardest to put my life back together.  Just as I'm surviving, I hope this blog will help others move forward and not regress after going through difficult times.  You have to know that it will pass, because, at the end of the tunnel, is a big right light, waiting for you to enter. And I'm not talking about the kind of light that signifies the end of life.