In My Thoughts

The power of evoking interest in her has awoken him to the point of sleeplessness. He desires her presence, but his astraddle behavior keeps him at a distance. He communicates his needs and frustration to be with her. She feels the frustration of his indecisiveness; she craves for him to come to her. “ What keeps him from me? ” She wonders. She : “Do you ever finish what you start? Especially, with me? You won’t let me go, but something is keeping you from fully engaging me .” . He : “I need to see you, I just don’t know what’s wrong. ” She: “ Let me know when you do know what’s wrong ”. He : “ Not seeing you, is what’s wrong .”   She : “ Maybe I’m wrong for you. I don’t know.  Your attraction to me may not be strong enough to do what you need to do .”   . He : “My attraction to you is too strong.” She: “Then you have a decision to make.” She knows of the reasons why he is apprehensive. He is unhappily committed to another,...

Like Switzerland, she remains in the middle Like Switzerland, she is torn between her two worlds Like Switzerland, there are no sides to take She fits not in either world, for nothing feels right. She’s without a country to call her own The longer she remains in one world The more she forgets the other; not fluent in either tongue Her allegiance to both worlds equals But she truly belongs to only one; which one? Her birth country is but a memory, Her adoptive country is but a burden, full of hate and fear of the different She yearns to return to the land of her people, but she has ties that bind She feels the air of home swirling around her She hears the sounds of locals as their lives intertwine She tastes the foods she loved as a young girl For now she waits, for a ripe time to return home, for without her mother And father among the living, she feels not a connection to her homeland She desperately wants to turn back time, but she can’t ...

An angel, Eunice, she was bestowed upon her mother; but it was not to be. An angel she was often forgotten by her maternal. An abandoned Angel, of circumstance. We know not how she became. Was it an act of ravishment of her mother? Was it a mishap? No one knows!  But Eunice, she was not alone in the world. She had other Angels on Earth to watch over her and keep her safe.                                                                                                     ...

Tall, Dark, and Handsome; Kind, Lovely, and Lonesome; Married to the Fires of the Valley; Or So He bids her to believe; Time is not His, to give freely; So She has come to understand; Her Heart Leaps at the sight of his words on her cell; She  Refuses to Move-on, holding tight to Hope; Hoping that He  will let her Capture his attention; She  Entertains no other, for He is Her Destination; Others entertain Her, while She awaits His monthly summons; Her mind’s eyes are forever entrenched with the image of Him; Her senses are that of His scent, touch, and taste; Her thoughts, always in remembrance of their last encounter, is overwhelming; He always leaves her Wanting More; She await his words on Her cell, beckoning her to come to Him; Tall, Dark, and Handsome. Kind, Lovely, and Lonesome.

Can’t allow myself the joy of crying; So I keep smiling. Crying means I give up; So I keep going. Crying means defeat; So I keep fighting. Crying means the end; So I don’t close my eyes at night. Crying means somebody else won, and I lost; So I continue to think of myself as a winner. Crying means I let myself down; So I give myself pep talks. Crying means I let my children down; So I make sure that I’m upright all the time. Crying means I’m not as strong as I should be; So I keep saying “I’m fine” when asked “How are you doing?” Crying means my women folk who have passed on will be ashamed of me. So I swallow the urge to cry, because there’s no one to comfort me should I dare cry. I dare not cry; For I won’t be able to stop.

DEFLECTING RESPONSIBILITY Making excuses for their behavior. Examples can be blaming you, other people or past experiences for their actions, using alcohol or drugs as an excuse, using mental health issues or past experiences (like a cheating ex or divorced parents) as a reason for unhealthy behavior. Right...it's never their fault that they're the way they are.  It's always "because of" someone or something that makes them behave the way they do.  They would even go as far as make you the trigger  that causes their insane behavior.  They make you the antecedent, the calm before the storm. And since you have become recluse and isolated from those who can guide you and see through the sham, you can't defend yourself, you go along with their assessment of you,therefore,  you're unable to tell the difference between what they want you to believe, and what you believe is the truth.  So, for the sake of peace, you accept the blame and move on.  B...

ISOLATION Keeping you away from friends, family, or other people. Examples can be when your partner makes you choose between them and your friends, insisting you spend all your time with them, making you question your own judgement of friends and family, and making you feel dependent on them for money, love or acceptance. At some point in your life, you've been isolated, for one reason or another.  It could have been self-imposed, you were forced into it, or it was a malice act by your significant other.  In any case, you need to understand, that isolation of any kind is not a good thing.  It's not healthy for the mind, or self esteem. When your significant other isolates you from your family and friends, it's their way of saying, "I'm insecure with myself, and I'm afraid that you'll realize that I'm useless and leave me someday, so I'm going to do all I can to isolate you from those who can see through me like a jelly fish, so th...