SABOTAGE
Purposely ruining your reputation, achievements or success. Examples can be making you miss work, school or practice, keeping you from getting school work done, talking about you behind your back or starting rumors, and threatening to share private information about you.
Do you think I experienced this while I was married? If you guessed "yes", you're right. It was very embarrassing. The sabotage was always sent in an email, to my bosses, which would cause me to lose my job, and I could never understand what the heck I did to get fired. But it all came to light after I left. I saw the emails to my bosses, my friends that were no longer my friends because they'd been alienated from me, my co-workers, etc. He hacked into my phone or phone book depending on which era it was, for this had been going on for at least a decade.
Private discussions that husband and wife usually engage in at the end of the day, while in bed. My complaints about my job, my boss, my co-workers which were suppose to be private, were revealed to them by this individual in lengthy emails and texts. (Meanwhile, he's not working or bringing in any income to the household). Suggesting to them that I was abusing company time, misusing company vehicle to go cheat on him, the list can go on forever.
Abuse doesn't always have to be physical, ladies and gentlemen. In fact, I'm pretty sure that any Psychotherapist or Psychologist would tell you that physical abuse is not the most painful and long-lasting of all the abuse types. Emotional abuse sticks with you the longest, because it plagues your mind and you almost don't heal from it. It controls your life to the point where you doubt yourself all the time.
If you're in such a relationship, know that it isn't right and you need to plan your exit, but safely. I know, it's easier said than done, you don't have to tell me. You may not be ready to bail out now because you're afraid, you don't have money, you have no one to go to, you don't want to disrupt the children's life, etc., I know, I know, I know. You probably left before, maybe more than once and you kept returning because he manipulated you into returning, that's okay. No one is judging. That just means that you were not ready to truly escape. When you're ready to escape, you will put an ocean between you and him or you and her. In the meantime, keep yourself and your children safe.
One last thing, you've got to start exposing him/her to your family and whatever friends you have left. Start letting people know that things are not as they seem, this way when you put that ocean between the two of you, no one is shocked and surprised.
Let me know your thoughts in the comments section!
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