Skip to main content

Warning Signs that abuse exists in a Relationship: Sign Number 1: Jealousy

Image result for image of jealousy

"JEALOUSY

An emotion that everyone experiences, jealousy becomes unhealthy when someone lashes out or tries to control you because of it. Examples can be getting upset when you text or hang out with people your partner feels threatened by, accusing you of flirting or cheating, being possessive over you or even going so far as to stalk you."
----Behind the Post, (n.d.) retrieved 7/29/18
Jealousy is not something that should exist in a marriage or relationship.  But, guess what? It does exist in relationships/marriages, and I experienced every one of those words above in my "relationship/marriage". As a couple, you should embrace and encourage your partner's accomplishments, not be resentful and sabotage their every effort to improve themselves; after all, aren't you benefiting from that same accomplishments?  I believe so. So instead of biting off the hand that feeds you, why not help those hands feed you?
As a victim, you may feel that as long as his suspicions are baseless because you're not doing any of those things, that he/she will eventually stop looking for things to shame you with; that you just have to go to the store when you say you're going to the store and nowhere else that all will be well, it won't.   It will get to the point where you would dread going home after work because you know the toxicity you're about to enter into. You will lose whatever friends you have, because, he would make sure to alienate them from you, so you have zero allies or confidants. He will alienate you from your family by talking shit about them, pointing out their flaws, and how you're better than them;  and you won't agree or disagree, you'll just sit there like a fool and listen.
Years later, you would realize that you've had no one in your corner, no support, no friends, no family to call, no allies, because he has tainted and sullied your name and character to your loved ones, and they will believe it, unless and until they hear from you.  You will realize that you are completely alone, so you stay alone.  Because by now, you're estranged from everyone.  You made your bed, you will lie in it.  Unless you choose a different route, and say, "NO MORE!" before it's too late.
Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

When you finally realize that you need help!

Mmmmm, that looks good. So, yesterday I was feeling some kind of way and I could not concentrate, or even get out and do things like go to the beach, as I wanted to do.  Instead I finished a book . I accomplished 3 big things yesterday: I took my car to Auto Zone for a reading, engine gauge goes in the red, but it cools itself as I'm driving.  They found nothing; finished reading the above book; and I did a load of laundry. Anyway, as the day went on, I started getting very emotional, unable to concentrate or complete a single thought.  Years ago, I criticized someone for not being able to live inside their own heads.  This person had just ended a relationship, and they were doing everything to keep themselves busy just so they wouldn't think about the situation they were in.  The hurt, the loss, the fear, the uncertainty...the list can go on forever.  Now that I'm in the same situation, I have an understanding of what this person was going throu...

Warning Signs of Abuse in Relationships: Sign Number 3: Manipulation

MANIPULATION When a partner tries to influence your decisions, actions or emotions. Manipulation is not always easy to spot, but some examples are convincing you to do things you wouldn’t normally feel comfortable with, ignoring you until they get their way, and using gifts and apologies to influence your decisions or get back in your good graces. What? "ignoring you until they get their way"? "Using gifts to influence your decisions"?  Wow, some girls just have all the luck! All I wanted was to be left alone.  I didn't even want to go home after work.  So clearly, some abusers are capable to giving you your space, in the form of "ignoring you" .  I never got peace in my environment.  Having someone in your face all the time, because they're not satisfied with your answers to their questions is exhausting, causes anxiety (which I was diagnosed with years ago) due to the environment I was living in, and it's just plain bullying. T...

Why I started this Blog and taking Responsibility for my past, present, and future!

I started this blog because I'm hoping to help others (men and women) heal after going through something like what I went through and still going through.  So others can avoid going through what I'm going through.  This Blog will not be about bashing anyone. It will be about my life as I lived it, my mistakes, my regrets, my sorrow, my self esteem, and feeling beat down. To save myself and my children, I had to leave a bad marriage.  I left because my children were suffering, and I was suffering.  In order to stop all our suffering, I had to remove myself from the equation while salvaging my career at the same time. It's been a year, within that year, I managed to get a divorce, go in an insurmountable debt, embarrassed myself, got embarrassed, found freedom, been miserable, been happy (for a short time), been cursed at by the other side, been begged to return home and I'll be treated like a queen, told that I won't have to work for the rest of my life if I retu...